Setting the Tone in the Home

Setting the Tone for the Home

Charles Elliott Newbold, Jr.


od the Father wrote a symphony and called it Family. Music, flowing from the depths of His heart! Beautiful. Harmonious. Movements with variations going from fast to slow to dance-like and back to fast again. Harmoniously drifting outward as a gentle breeze over forests, through dales, cascading downward from mountain tops, passing over troubled waters at times, but always mounting again on the high winds of eternity.

Father God created this symphony, Jesus penned the music, and the Holy Spirit conducts the orchestra. We are the instruments of varying kinds: woodwinds, brass, percussion, and strings. We are as different as can be from each other; yet, we make the music happen. We are the Family—a righteous family defined as an orchestra playing God’s symphony!

The husband/father (Dad) of each righteous household is the oboe in this orchestra—not all that celebrated, but his importance is distinct. He not only sounds the note by which all the other family members tune their instruments, but more importantly, he sets the tone for the household.

If the life he lives is off key, he will sound a sour note—not one from heaven. He will be in rebellion to the conductor and the music, and will throw the whole family into discord. The symphony cannot be performed. How important then is it that he sounds the right note?

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the called-out-ones [the Bride of Christ], and gave Himself for her.” Eph. 5:25. “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them.” Col. 3:19. “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Col. 3:21.

If Dad’s tuning note is true and any member of the family fails to tune the instrument of who they are to his, they will be in discord. Even when all others are in tune, that one who is out of tune will throw the symphony into discord. “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.” Gal. 5:9.

How beautiful is the sound of those who stay in tune with the music that flows from Father’s heart. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Eph. 5:22. “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” Col. 3:20.

Now the Dad of the home does more than sound the pitch from which all others tune their instruments. He sets the tone for the home. Playing the right note is necessary, but there is more to the music. We can be in tune to the uniform pitch and still lack tone. Tone has to do with the quality of the note. He determines the quality of the music being played in his household. Is it a warm, safe, compassionate, encouraging, and heartfelt tone?

Is the Dad-tone in the house one of peace or anger, comfort or fear, self-giving or self-centeredness, sharing or demanding, safety or danger, hope or despair, encouragement or disheartenment, criticism or compliments, instruction or blaming, laughter or grief, happiness or depression, godly discipline or lawlessness, unity or chaos, faith or disbelief, righteousness or sin, strength or weakness, guidance or control, nurture or abusiveness? All in all, is the tone of the house a Holy Spirit atmosphere or a demonic atmosphere? Is it nourishing or toxic? It will be one or the other.

Everyone, being a different instrument, has a part to play in this symphony, but not all always play at the same time. Some may be featured more than others, but that doesn’t matter. It is not about the instrument. It is all about the symphony from heaven called Family.

The Dad sets the tone of the home; therefore, Dad, make sure that you are in concert with the heavenly music, playing in tune and in time with the conductor’s baton.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Cor. 11:3.

There is no greater joy or blessing to be found apart from God’s Kingdom order.


3 Responses to “Setting the Tone in the Home”

  1. Larry Jelvik Says:

    Hello. Thi is outstanding. I do not truly have words to give.
    I just need to do James 4:8 deeper, closer,
    At one time in my life I felt my head on His chest. Yes He is a wonderful God and I am so thankful for His forgiveness.
    Larry and Sally Jelvik. Uganda missionaries in worship.

  2. Larry Jelvik Says:

    Hello again. Sally and I will be leaving to go to Uganda October 3rd and am asking for prayer as I believe that you are a man of God. Am waiting for your last book and as always i do enjoy them and as they work in my spirit. Please keep sending me your letters as they seem to be brand new as God says He is “brand new every day”
    Larry and Sally Jelvik, Uganda.

  3. alamoaa Says:

    Beautiful. We are all so different as are the instruments and if done right we can be a blend as in a symphony and be a beautiful thing before the world to lift up His name and be a people that show forth His plan and purpose before a lost and dying world. Beautifully done thanks,

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